16 oct

I m left with a few more days to work at the centre...after whic i will be back to school...i cant wait to go back to school but i dun know want to do any assignments or project!! they are such a turn off!!! But whateve still i have to do them to achieve good grades and get into a uni...I was planning to join pcf little wings jurong central and then get a scholarship for my degree...I dun mind takibng my degree at SIM for 4 years...i can afford the time as i m still young...i want to work n study at the same time to save up for my future...i want to get marry early but before i can do so i need to ensure that i have saving in my acc before i can lead a peaceful life with my future husband. We both have planned abou the future and that we have to work hard now to relax in future...with both of us having a degree...life will be much easier in future...we have so many things we want in life...a house of our own after marriage...a car of our own...a stable job for the both of us...after which have kids in future... i want our kids to have a good life...not being pampered but all essential are met..


i know very well that you are very concern of our future...so am i...i will work hard to ensure that all our plan can be carried out...



i love u, fazul idham...

13 Oct 2010

Its the second day ur in camp...

its 12.20 am as of now...

I mish u so much...

How i wish im in ur arms rightnow...
you huggin me to sleep..
you huggin me so tightly...
Ur warmth really keep me secure through the nite...
jus like that nite when u hug me so tightly..

REALLY HOPE THAT THE Next 18 Days Will Be FAST

7 Oct 2010

Until todae I m not sure of wat is going on between us. I really enjoyed myself on wednesday. However when i start to think of all the problems, it made me worry. I m really feeling very insecure. Never had such a feeling before. I get frustrated easily as i dun want to lose you. You mean so much to me that I dun want to let you go under any circumstances. Please syg...in what ever situation, i dun want to leave you.

I will fight to the end with whoever that tries to break us apart.

All i know is that, my emotions are pretty hetic at the moment. I need assurance from you dear before you book in again and attend your ocs confinment for 3 weeks. By the next time I meet you, it will be november. Without u by my side for the 3 weeks, i need ur assurance to hold on to.

5 Oct

It been two days and the issue is still on my mind. I jus dun know wat is going on. You seems to have move away. I thought i was the one, u assure me that i would be the one but now things seem to change, i m really lost. please help me. i really need your help and guidance. I am a person who give in , i m sure u know me well enuf. I really asked myslef, wat is going on. Why is the whole situation becoming bad. We have travel a distance and we have assured one abother that we will be there. At this moment, i m so lost that i cant even think properly. I dun want to lose you. I m try my very best to meet ur mum expectation. I need your trust. I need your concern. I need your guidance. I need all this to improve myself to be with you.

I never want to be deleted from your life. It has always been a dream to be with you. To live with you for the rest of my life. There have been many things I learnt from you. You lit my life with your light. You educate me. You change me for the better. I really appreciate all the things you have done to change me for the better. I just have a small request, please lets clear this issue before it gets bigger and more complicated.

2 Oct 2010

It took us weeks to train...polish the dance steps ...shout the counting every now and then...until the last very day we still have to train. Wanna thank Ms Liza Foong a million for the trust she have towards me to train the children. When the day come, i jus have to relax back an d enjoy the whole concert.

Photos capture during the concert.

More pictures to come......

3 Oct 2010

Been months I last check my blog.... Gosh time fly so fast that it is going to be the end of another year..I will start my final semester in another 3 weeks and have to say goodbye again to the children at myt centre but i will come back as a teacher...I want the school to help me in getting a scholarship for my degree. I dun mind waiting for 4 years to take the degree. In that way, I can save money as i sch.

When out with hunnie jus now. YIpppeeee!!!! We are going to celebrate our 9 mth together this sat but sadly he wont be ard but it okies...He is goin oversea to attend some family matter. N on sun i have a wedding to attend at orchid country club...and the best part, he jus pop n by the time, he have to go for his ocs confinement for 3 weeks...now single for 21 days...last 4 mth was 14 days n now up by 7 days...it is okies...another challenge for the both of us...insyaallah , we will be stong to go through the 21 days. I pray that he will be safe n he will be able to go through his ocs training smoothly.

Photos taken during outing

21 March 2010

I jus reached home from werk. Thought that i would be talking to him for a moment but receive a text from him tell me that he is going to sleep. Frankly speaking, i dun mind if he wants to sleep ealry coz i understand of his working environment.

I m jus a little upset that we could not talk about the tiny winy problem we are facing right now. I believe that he is waiting for the right time to talk about the issue. I agree that it is important for couples to find the right time before they open a topic for discussion and the best time is when both parties are cooled down and ready for discussion to hear each other opinion.

I analyse ur blog and i have some thoughts about it. I would prefer to tell u when we meet. I analyse and evaluated and came to a conclusion about the problem and i wish to share it with u.

As u r reading this post, i hope that u will realise that i m pretty serious about the relationship or else i will not bother and jus walk away from the situation and move on in life. Life is not as easy as one, two and three . we have to take things slow and one step at a time. There is no magic to life. It goes slow and uneven.

20 March 2010

Finally i understand y u were so pissed off with everyone last nite.

it took me the whole nite to think if i had made a mistake, I could not figure out till this morning when i check out ur facebook status and when i read ur blog, i was shock by the post. it was bout me almost 80% of it. About me doin the things that turn u off., about my dressing, about me n ur mum and about our future.



Firstly, i want to apologise if my post is going to hurt people whom are going to read it but this is my blog and i have all the right to say what i have in mind.



I wanna apologise if i turn u off when we first met. I was damn pissed off that i dun know how to let go off my anger. I did not to let it on u coz i know that it would not be fair to u as it was not ur fault totally.



I want to be with u and i clearly know that it is not easy to be with u as i have to meet ur mum's expectation. I m working hard to meet her expectation coz i truly want to be with u...At time i find it difficult to impress ur mum but i know that in the long run i m going to benefit from it. I m willing to work hard for this relationship. I m all out to save and work on this relationship. I need u to support me. I need ur encouragements.



I guess i knnow what kind of gerl ur mum for u. I m beginning to get the picture. I will change for the better. I will. BUT i need to start slow. I need to start from the basic. I need ur help to lead me to change me to be a better person.



Somtimes, i feel insecure. I feel tired. i jus have too much emotions. I m too overwhelmed by his post that i cant really think much. It is disturbing but i know that he is letting out his feelings. All i feel like doing now is jus shutting my own world. it seems like there are too many things going on in my mind now. I NEED SOME SPACE TO BREATHE. my feelings are all mixed up. I feel like shouting right now. i feel like crying.



SAD.

ANGRY.

DISAPPONTED.

SHOCKED.

HAPPY.

LOVED.

HATE.

IRRESPONSIBLE.

A TURN-OFF.



i need some time by myself.

i hope we can work this matter and get over it asap....



i really love u n i want to be with u.

22 FeB 2010

WOAH!!!! At last, i m done with Year 2....

Now is the really time to party..Yes, i m going to party..

On the 5th March 2010, i m going to have my 19th bdae!!!!

I really cant wait for the party. This party was planned by my sista (AISHAH OSMAN) and supported by my bf n my frens!!! I really cant wait to see what she have planned for me!!!

It has been a few days since we last met but i dun know y i also have this strong feeling of missing u... I guess it is bcoz i love u so much that i want u all the time. I felt that at times i m abit too sticky to u...i hope u dun mind my dear...

I know u started working and that having to manage a full time job and to spend time with the people u love is difficult. Futhermore when ur partner is also working thus there are lots of arrange u have to do for the both of u to meet up and spend time together. I have no issue with u werking but i feel that we really dun have the time to spend with one another. We have to compromise to meet one another. I know this is the start of adulthood when we are preparing to step into the next part of life. I dun mind with having to give in coz i know it is for ur own good.

HOWEVER, i ask of u to trust and love me as u wld as before...

Frankly speaking...i m emotional at this point of time...

I have too many feelings in me right now that i dun know how to express them...

I mish u n i want to meet u but u cant...

I feel frustrated bcoz i cant meet u...

i feel suffocated as i cant seem to be away from u..

i feel very sticky towards u that i feel like i m strangling myself...

I love u...

i really dun know how to express my feelings as i dun want to hurt u and i know that it wld be freeaking stupid to complain to u once u finish werk as i know that u are tired....

My request to u is that please dun take this post seriously as i was jus expressing my feelings.

5 FeB 2010

Today was simply a long yet fun day.
Had sch in the morning.
It is damn retard to return to sch for jus an hour class and then hand in assignment.
Great another module down..
Exams are around the corner...
Right after CNY
ARGHHHH!!!!

After that meet dear at somerset after his attachment and accompany dear to GWC to gym.
I was busy windowing shopping at GWC...
Damn fun!!!!
Went into ZARA and tried the appareal and HEELS!!!

Then i went into this shop called " IWANNAGOHOME"
It is a shop that sells home stuffs..
I was damn amazed with the sofas and the mirrors..
I was looking ard when a male malay stuff approach me...
I told him " Just looking ard. I dun need any help"
After which he walk away...
After a few minutes, he approach me again. This time he invite me to sit on the sofa.
I decline his offer and continue to walk ard the shop looking at other stuff.
Jus before i left the shop,
one of the staff approached me. He said"
Hie miss, my friend is interested in knowing u. He wants ur number."
I was shocked and i replied,
" Sorry, but i m waiting for my husband.
I smiled and walked away. That guy was damn shocked that he repeatedly apologised. I told dear about it and we laughed bout it....

After dear's gym session, we went to KEPPEL BAY MARINA..
It was beautiful...
Thank you syg....
Really enjoyed my day..
as we all know pictures speak a thousand words..
I guess i just like it to them to do the talking...

ENJOY!!!!

OUR MINI PICNIC



He simply love bears just like me!!!

I LOVE HIM...

I WANNA GROW OLD WITH U...

My dear gave me this TEDDY!!!!

7 FeB 2010

Look forward to meet you next week...
Cant really decide where to go...
Either picnic at Sentosa or fine dining at Paragon..

Was looking through his blog and one of his post seems disturbing to me...
I dun really know who is he trying to mean it but it seems like the person is so dear to him....
I dun feel so good after reading it.,..
His blog is full of colours and emotions..
at times, it would be happy...
at times, it would be funny...
at times, it can be sad
at times, it can be disturbing too

I would not dare to jump to conclusion as this can destroy our relationship...
i would rather ask u and hear ur explantion as our intepretation can be totally different...

3 FeB 2010

I skipped sch todae coz i m not feeling welll....
Down with a headache that does not allow me to get out from bed.
Feeling much better now after a long nap and medication.

I read ur blog and I feel that there is something wrong going between us...
I want to make it clear here that I m happy with whatever things u are doing
I m always behind u to support u
but if u feel that my presence is such a hindrance and that u are not able to do ur stuff peacefully just let me know directly...
I will take a step back....

I just feel sucky this few days...
Things does not seems right between me n u
I think i need to meet u
We need to talk to clear the air...
We need to further understand one another...

It is not that we are fighting or having a cold war...
I strongly believe it is just a misunderstanding...


Syg...i really love u n i dun wanna lost u....

31 Jan 2010

The last day of the month...means fizah have to work...hehehewell....

Had a wonderful n dreadful day ...

Wonderful as we hit our target this mth...

Guys...time to party...

we hit 113%

Dreadful coz todae i FULL shift...

was late in the morning....

hehehhe

29 JaN 2010.

We went out together...

Went to have lunch at Bumbu Desa @ Novena Square

Lunch was simply wonderful with my dear..

After which we went shopping @ COTTON ON & FOREVER 21

30 JaN 2010.

Went out with mummy,bro n sis.

Went Geylang to get baju kurung for cuzin wedding in MARCH.

Went to several place before the 3 of us fell in love with the baju kurung @ RH fashion.

Bought 3 pairs for $180.

A great bargin indeed.

I pick red...sis gol n mummy pale green.

Actualli it is not realli baju kurung..it is more of kuring pahang.

At nite went to east coast to hang out.

Was talking to dear but could not really have a quiet environment to talk to dear..

I was pissed off with my bro for making so much noise...

Me n dear talked about several sensitive issues.

The talk did not really end off welll...

But as soon as he put down the fone..

There was a strange feeling in me...

I felt that I mish him so much that I wish he was by me when i needed him so much...

Syg....I LOVE YOU...

Ur presence in my life have completed my life...

I cant believe it to be loved by u and loving u in return..

It seems like a wonderful dream but when i realise i m in the dream i jus cant simply believe....

I LOVE U ALOT

27 JAN 2010

Reporting strength to my blog...hehheheh

Having my IT module right now...Just imagine from 2pm to 6 pm facing the laptop...

Switched off as soon as the lecturer starts talking...heheheh

Learned about FLASH n DREAMWEAVER

Sharks...I m so tired...i wish i can go off now....

class is simply boring....

sooooo IT....jus not my type of thing to do...

I WANNA GO HOME N SLEEP....

AND I WANT DOUGHNUTS!!!!!!!!!!

SICK!!!!

hey eveyone..

Been sometime since i last update my blog..
Been busy with assignments and project and work.
I have so many things to talk about this blog but my health condition do not allow me to do all the update todae.

I m down with flu...
terrible cough
slight headache
worst of all sleepy eyes
in addition to that a wonderful body ache!!!

I feel very sucky todae..going to have presentation in the afternoon later...
this morning i took medication and i really want to sleep now but i cant coz i cant sleep.
I wanna eat rice at the taiwanese shop at makan place...ARGHGHHH...cant wait...feeling a bit hungry...

I feel that i m the luckiest gerl in the world to have a boyfi like you.
being with u is simply wonderful
The way u understand me is way too good
the way u look at me...
the way u kiss my cheek...
the way u hold my hand
the way u introduce me to ur friends
the way u smile at me even though u r tired
the way u stare at other guys when they are staring at me
the nites where u stay up late jus to wait for me to return from werk to talk to me
the mornings u wake me up and even though most of the time i do not pick up the fone..
above are parts of the wonderful things i experience with you and i wanna experience more of it

I cant imagine and believe that i m with you now..
in ur arm ...
showing concern and loving you ...




I love you and
get well soon dear
AND Congratulation on ur MUCSLEWAR 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR n Happenings

hey everyone!!!

WOw 2010....n BYe 2009...

Been so long since i last update my blog...

MAny things have occured and i have experiences.

I have a great news to announce that

I AM ATTACHED TO MR FAZUL IDHAM!!!!

He proposed to me in Sentosa on the 9 JAN 2010.

I have been waiting for this moment ever since i met him like 2 years ago.

I cant believe that i am attached to him.

WOW...it feels like a beautiful dream which i never think of it happening in real life.

My dearest syg....I love u and i will learn to love you more.

will treasure our time spent together

I will work hard to make our relatiohship ongoing no matter wat

We spent a whole day in Sentosa on 9 Jan 2010...

let the pictures do the talking